Trust represents a far more complicated kind of bond between people than like or love. Whereas like or love represent a straightforward merger of flowing blendable continual positive energy between people, trust represents an attitude based on an informal agreement between two or more people not to do anything to consciously hurt, or betray one another, and on the contrary to follow through on those tasks that they had agreed to undertake for one another, so that they can remain smoothly engaged. Trust has more of a defensive flavor to it, than does like or love. It involves setting up defined discrete boundaries between people such that they feel comfortable interacting with one another in such a way that they won’t hurt, or betray one another. One connects to another person primarily through the modality of trust as much because of the things that one won’t do to someone else as through the things that one will do. Like and love without the boundaries of trust can be something very hurtful. Love so intense that it can lead to the merger of souls can also lead to the melting down of individual senses of self. And then lovers can start lashing out at one another in an attempt to regain their boundaries and, ultimately their respective senses of self.
Nevertheless, in many situations in life, trust is the principal way of creating human bonding. One doesn’t have to like or love one’s political allies, but it certainly helps to have functioning relationships, if one can trust them. The same is true for coworkers and business partners. Trust is needed so that through functioning relationships, one can maintain a functioning community and everyone, within it, can survive.
Now one of the most destructive aspects of Trump’s presidency is the increasingly pervasive loss of trust. The fact that Trump has become an incredible flip-flopper, promising one thing and doing something completely different, makes for an incredibly exciting roller-coaster ride that is very effective in pulling people out of their numbness. Every day, there is a new breaking news story (or two or three) about a new shocking plan of his. Frequently, it has to do with a complete reversal of something he said he was going to do for the American people. For instance, he had promised the American people he was going to bring down consumer prices. But by implementing all of the tariffs that he wants to implement, prices are going to go up considerably. And Trump himself has acknowledged this. He has said that the tariffs are going to bring short-term pain, but that in the end, it’s going to make the economy better than ever.
Now, on the one hand, one can say that this reversal on policy is going to give all the numb Americans an incredible emotional rush. There is just no one who can flip-flop the way that Trump does. On the other hand, such an enormous fundamental flip-flop comes at an enormous cost: the loss of trust in believing anything that he, the President of the United States, says to the American people. And seeing that as a person who, as President of the United States, is supposed to be a model for the American people, he can nevertheless flip-flop like that, he implicitly gives permission to all American people that they can flip-flop to everyone to their heart’s content.
A loss of trust within a population is, in effect, a loss of emotional grounding for the population. A general atmosphere of trust provides an intangible template for positive engagement among the members of the community. And a lack of capacity for positive engagement ultimately leads to the collapse of the community.
Now flip-flopping should not be considered a random mental exercise. at least not in the case of Trump. He is not simply being indecisive, because he is overstimulated by all of the different choices. Rather, it is his way of keeping people hooked to his cult. Sustained indecision ultimately leads to chaos. But chaos which in normal situations with normal people would be something that they would fight to overcome, in today’s world becomes something that numb people embrace as a vehicle to pull them out of their numbness and feel fully alive.
In the end we should look at flip-flopping like a drug. The chaos it creates for the members of Trump’s cult is like an addictive kick. An incredible high for them. But on the other hand, coming down from the high puts people in social isolation because it teaches them not to trust. Period.
© 2025 Laurence Mesirow
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