Sen. Rand Paul knows a thing or two about Yiddish and he used today’s celebration of Festivus to call out Donald Trump for his Hillary Clinton “schlonged” comments.
“If u bring the Yiddish, know what it means. Guess that’s more of a kvetch than a grievance,” Paul tweeted, showing off his own command of the language.
Where to start but @realDonaldTrump. If u bring the Yiddish, know what it means. Guess that’s more of a kvetch than a grievance #Festivus— Dr. Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2015
Festivus, in case you don’t already know, is the faux holiday popularized on “Seinfeld.” Two of its biggest features: an unadorned aluminum pole and the “annual airing of the grievances.”
Paul, a stumbling presidential candidate from Kentucky, has has embraced the day for the past three years and usually uses it to slam government waste — like the $250,000 to send Pakistani kids to Dollywood. this year.
But when Trump drew heat yesterday for saying Clinton got “schlonged” in her 2008 Democratic primary loss to Barack Obama, Rand found himself with a Festivus miracle.
The other GOP candidates also felt the sting of his grievances — and he got Trump a second time with s complaint abouut his made-in-China ties.
to my absentee friend @marcorubio, I didn’t put your $170k+ salary in my waste report today. But I could have #Festivus— Dr. Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2015
I think I speak for all in NJ when I say @GovChristie I don’t care how much $ u spend at Met Life, Cowboys fans should stay out. #Festivus— Dr. Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2015
.@CarlyFiorina has ZERO trouble making it back from commercial breaks @HillaryClinton. Just saying. #Festivus #waronwomensrooms— Dr. Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2015
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Trump y Ryan discuten el correcto uso de términos en Yiddish en su campaña electoral
Zei Gezunt, Lindsey Graham.
The Republican senator from South Carolina had good reasons to quit the Republican presidential race, as he did this week. He had succeeded in his goal of making the rest of the field more hawkish. He avoided an embarrassing defeat in his home-state primary. And, in leaving, he is being a mensch.
Specifically, he is helping his Republican Party avoid getting shtupped by Donald Trump.
Or make that “schlonged.” Trump, in his latest bit of narishkeit, proclaimed Monday night that Hillary Clinton got “schlonged” by Barack Obama in their 2008 contest. Thus did Trump bastardize a Yiddish noun for penis (literally, serpent) by turning it into a verb in front of 7,500 people and millions more who would see it on TV.
Oy vey iz mir! What a putz!
No wonder half of U.S. voters would be embarrassed to have Trump as president, according to a new Quinnipiac University poll. In Monday’s “schlonged” speech, Trump also called it “disgusting” that Clinton, who would be the first woman to be president, took a too-long bathroom break during the Democratic debate.
My grandmother, were she alive, would have had a choice phrase for such a vulgarian: Shemen zich in dein veiten haldz. Literally, this translates as “you should be ashamed in your far neck,” but that doesn’t quite convey the deep contempt the speaker has for the schmuck who committed such a shandeh un a charpeh (shame and disgrace). Alternatively, my bubbe might have opted to give Trump some classic and colorful Yiddish advice: “Gai kaken oifen yam” — go defecate in the ocean.
Covering the insult-o-rama that is the Trump campaign is a soul-draining undertaking, calling to mind another Yiddishism: “Darf min gehn in kolledg?” (For this I went to college?)
But since Trump has started us on this tour of Yiddishkeit, it’s worth noting that Yiddish insults are custom-tailored for the overbearing and boorish gantseh macher that Trump has made of himself. He’s a shmegegi and a mamzer, a fabrecher and a nudnik with a lot of chutzpah (and a tuches un a halb). Sorry, you’ll have to look those up.
Graham, in quitting the race Monday, said he would back Trump over Clinton if the mogul wins the primaries. “I’m going to support the Republican nominee,” he said in his sole interview, with CNN. Bist meshugeh? Are you nuts?
But Graham also said Trump won’t beat Clinton “without some major adjustments.” Graham suggested that Trump might be able to “re-evaluate” and “adjust” his candidacy. Uh-huh. Az di bobe volt gehatn beytsim volt zi geven mayn zeyde: If my grandmother had testicles she would be my grandfather.
Though Graham didn’t cite this reason in withdrawing his candidacy, his departure furthers the urgent process of consolidating support behind a consensus Republican alternative to Trump (and Ted Cruz, whose drek and chazzerei are much like Trump’s).
Tuesday’s Quinnipiac poll finds Trump with 28 percent and Cruz at 24, with Marco Rubio, who polls best among mainstream candidates, way back at 12. But if, say, Rubio were to gain the support of those backing Chris Christie (6 percent), Jeb Bush (4 percent), Carly Fiorina (2 percent), John Kasich (1 percent) and the various candidates scoring bupkis in the poll, he’d be neck-and-neck with Trump.
[Capehart: Democrats should fear the depths of Trump’s support]
Republican strategists I’ve talked with believe voters would flock to Rubio if he were to rise above 20 percent in the polls — a reasonable possibility, given that 58 percent of Republican voters who named a candidate in the Quinnipiac survey said they might change their minds. The sooner other Republican candidates follow Graham out of the race, the better the chances of them presenting voters with a unified alternative to Trump.
Graham hasn’t endorsed another candidate yet (he praised Rubio and Bush, saying they “get it”) but he seemed to appreciate the stakes. “This is not a reality show,” he said. “This is an election for the heart and soul of the Republican Party.”
Right. So why are so many other Republican leaders looking so farblondzhet (confused) and serving as Trump’s shnooks and shlubs while voters fall for Trump’s shvindel? Genug iz genug, Republicans: Enough is enough. End the shpilkes and tsores and settle on a responsible alternative who can cut Trump down to size with perhaps the greatest Yiddish aphorism of all: Du kannst nicht auf meinem rucken pishen unt mir sagen class es regen ist.
You can’t pee on my back and tell me that it’s raining.
Dos iz alts. Danken Got.
The 7 Most Famous Uses of ‘Schlong’ Before Donald Trump
Forward Staff
Donald Trump’s use of the term “schlonged” may have been the most recent example of a Yiddish curse hitting the mainstream. But it’s hardly the first. In fact, the term schlong has been swinging around pop culture for quite a while. Here are seven of the most noteworthy uses of the (rather unpleasant) term:
1969 Philip Roth, “Portnoy’s Complaint”
“His schlong brings to mind the fire hoses coiled along the corridors at school.”
1982: Peter O’Toole playing the role of Alan Swann in “My Favorite Year”
“My dear fellow, what I choose to do with my schlong is my business.”
1990: James Ellroy, “L.A. Confidential”
“My God to be so nimble and so hung, like Heifetz on the fiddle with his schlong that dog is.”
1995: “Beavis and Butthead”
Butthead: “Beavis, you’re gonna keep talking about loogies and I’m gonna be too busy swinging around my gigantic schlong.
1998: Linda Tripp to Monica Lewinsky (transcript):
“The worst thing here to me, I have to say to you, I know — because I know the whole history — I know how devastating terrible, and I would be the cause of being devastatingly terrible for him to know that you told. That’s my biggest problem with this whole thing, and that’s why I want out of it. Not because I admire him because right now I think he is a schlong, not because I’m an enemy of the administration because I don’t think i am, it’s because I can’t bear the pain and anguish and, frankly, I don’t know what you would do. And I have that on my conscience, too, forever.”
2006 Phyllis Diller, from her memoir “Like a Lampshade in a Whorehouse.”
“In an instant, some decrepit guy parked himself a couple of seats away (and) pulled out his shlong.”
2011 New York Post headline about Anthony Weiner:
“WEINER’S SWAN SCHLONG; HEAT’S ON TO QUIT AS PENIS PIC HITS THE ‘NET
2013 New York Daily News Headline (also about Anthony Weiner):
“G’BYE, SO SCHLONG: Voters give Weiner stiff rebuke”
Read more: http://forward.com/culture/327889/the-7-most-famous-uses-of-schlong-before-donald-trump/#ixzz3vMYtQQuw
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